The year of self re-definition

 

The clock is ticking and this famous year is rolling down. I can imagine people from every corner of the world saying that this year is finally over. It seems that we have been rubbed by this guest that we willingly welcomed almost a year ago.

Do you remember how hopeful were you back then?
The things you were dreaming for yourself?
How amazing the upcoming will be for you?
What about the deceptions, you’ve decided to leave behind in 2019?
What about the pains you said to yourself that you are going to leave forever?
The loved ones that you have lost, and you’ve decided to live a happy year for them?

This picture in my opinion could be the summary of 2020 for many people I, myself included.

It got me questioning myself, what is it that make life different? What is that element that defines life? I would like to know what is that thing that bring change in people life?

A wiseman man once said:

 “Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans”.

 Well, we made a lot of plans. Can we really blame someone for making plans for himself? We’ve made a lot for this year, and as if our wishes, our prayers do not count this year happened:

 “We are at war with the Coronavirus”; said president Emmanuel Macron from France
Different presidents had a lot to say, as if we ‘ve reached the end of the world.

Some people playingly say that this year is not supposed to count but time does not stop like in movies. 2020 had 366 days, one day more than the previous year.  It had 52 weeks. One hour still counted for 60 minutes as one minute counted for 60 seconds. We have had the full package, not a single discount was given. It was a whole and full year.

After a prayer of gratefulness for being amongst the survivors of this year, written down a list of wishes for the upcoming year I have decided to give my body a boost.

So, the morning after the new year eve, I have decided to take on the challenge that I have been thinking about, run 21 km.

I have made my decision to run 21 km to start my year 2021. It might be an easy target for some of you or a higher one for some others as for me it was a higher one. Matter of fact the highest I have ever run was 16 km and I did it with a colleague, alone I have reached a maximum of 16 km;

So, I needed a proper preparation. The night before, I have stretched my body; massaged my legs, I’ve tried to have a full 8 hours sleep. The morning when I woke up, I drank half litter of water, and the I have stretched myself again and then drank again a half litter of water. After that I’ve dressed up and went down the stairs.
So, I have started, as usual, I did without much suffering my first 7 kilometers within a range of 6 minutes per kilometer. As I was going on, I have felt my first pain. Funny enough, it wasn’t coming from my body but from my brain asking various questions:

Is it worth it?
Why do you do it?
Why don’t you turn back Next kilometer?

And so on, many questions held my brain in hostage, but I kept moving on, so it got quiet and my body started expressing itself at kilometer 12. My legs were heavier than the usual, there was that continuous voice telling me to stop but I kept going although my speed changed, I was then around 7 minutes per kilometer. While I was slowing down, some other runners passed me by, each one of them with their own speed.  Once again, I have started questioning myself and my speed:

Why can’t you go faster?
Why don’t you join one of them so you could speed up?

Meanwhile I was still moving on. I run, run and run until I have reached 19 kilometers.  There, my headsets stopped working, the battery died. The only real distraction from my pains left me. No more music, just me and my objective. As my negative mind was about to take over a poem from Sir Edward Dyer came to my rescue:

“My mind to me a kingdom is, therein I find what I lack…”

Searching for some positive energy, another poem came out, this time from Rudyard Kipling with a simple title yet still powerful “if” and my energy came from these verses:

“If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew to serve your turn long after they are gone, and so hold on when there is nothing left in youeExcept the will which says to them: “Hold on!”

Then everything changed, I have felt so great that I have run the last kilometers below seven minutes per kilometer and there gain by remembering the famous quote I have retained from Napoleon Hill’s

 “Always go the extra miles”

I have once more speed up to add another 200 meters. I have ended my jogging with 21,23 kilometers, the longest I have ever run.

As I was walking around my area to loosen up a bit, the same brain that was suggesting to stop came back:

You did great job!
Always remember, your objective is yours to carry;
You were not running with others but with your goal;
You were not racing against somebody else but against your own limits;
Only by crushing the little voice within yourself the big one could come out;

There I remembered a story narrated by Earl Nightingale about the great Caruso, the night he was supposed to perform:

“I was taken by stage fright just moments before he was due to walk on stage to perform for thousands of people. As he stood backstage in full costume, overwhelmed and despairing, with perspiration pouring down his face, his throat was paralyzed. Trembling, he said to those near him, “I can’t sing. They will all laugh at me. My career is finished.” He turned around to walk back to his dressing room. Suddenly he stopped. “The Little Me is trying to strangle the Big Me within!” he shouted.

That one moment of courage changed everything. Turning back toward the stage, Caruso lifted his shoulders up straight and with his most powerful voice commanded, “Get out of here!” to the critic in his head. “The Big Me wants to sing through me. Get out, get out, the Big Me is going to sing,” he repeated. He then walked onstage to give one of the finest performances of his career, which later saw him becoming one of the greatest tenors in history”.

Funny enough, our biggest threat in life is our own internal limitations and conflicts and how we stand up to ourselves. In order to do that, is critical to know thyself, to have motivations beyond any possible reasons and justifications that our own mind could come up with.

Of course, we life in society, and since no man is island, we have to confront ourselves with people. Sometimes, people may attack, criticize you or ignore you. They can crumple you with their words, spit you out or even walk all over you. But remember whatever they do or say, your nature does not change.

As president Emmanuel was saying in his speech, this crisis compelled all of us to spend more time with ourselves to evaluate ourselves to assess ourself, he called it simply a possibility to self-re-definition.

The battle inside might surely not end with the end of this pandemic. Outside, many people died, some were cried worldwide, some by few people and some nobody knew of them. Family will carry their pains in this new year; countries will still face the consequences of this pandemic and presidents or ministers will be crucified. But as we might have observed from how different governments handled the crisis, they all did their best with the knowledge they had and how valuable their people were to them. They may have failed us but they did their best. As president Donald Trump said on his speech on this pandemic:

“From the beginning of time nations and people have faced unforeseen challenges including large-scale and very dangerous health threats this is the way It always was and always will be, it only matters how you respond…”

Indeed, this the nature of human being and life itself. Even if a baby crawls he soon or later walks. this year has tetesd us in inimaginable ways, and people fromall walks of life have stepped up to create change and make things better. Yes in our nature as humain being we fight and we survive so to all of us who have survived let's smile, stand erect, and live up to life.

2020 might has left us, unsure, lost, unclear, puzzled confused even baffled some could even feel hopeless but your choice could change your life and that of many others so follow the  red fish:

It might cost you everything but as this pandemic thought us either you move or you'll be forced to move

So, as you go through your own struggle as your country and I do too, allow me to thank you for reading me; We might not know each other because of the distance still thank you and I wish you all the best for crafting every single second of this new year of yours.