The Midnight Judge
The day is long gone and the
night has started hours ago. After doing all that I have planned, I switched of
the light of my room and opened the door. Well I need to get some fresh air in
the room after all I am going to be closed in that 9 m2 for 6 hours.
While refreshing the room, I walked outside to refresh myself as well. Standing
at the balcony of this old building that I was running from. The area gets
easily quiet after midnight even my noisy sister was nowhere to be heard today.
Instead, the birds were singing their alleluia, the air is smooth, a little bit
cold, windy, who knows where it has been? Or what prayer it has taken along its
way? Maybe it has a message for me? Perhaps it has met the woman of my dream?
Or was it the only comfort that some lonely man had had? Anyway with me it is
very kind tonight, it just embraces me like a mother. My body, my mind, my heart
even my blood feels its gentle touch. I am so grateful that my mind starts
vising places. It took me to a hall with many doors, each of them very familiar.
As I visit all of them I slowly
walk towards one particular one. Each step I was taking was a sort of question.
Immediately I recognised him. He was him, always present whenever midnight
comes. Indeed, it was the Midnight Judge. He came in slowly, first it seems
that he wanted to know about my day, So I visited my day passing in review all the
things that I have done. When I finished, he was there with a grimace on his
face as if to say that was all? So he started again. Are you satisfied he
asked, once I opened my mouth to respond, he came in with another question, and
one more, another one and so on. I did not have any right to answer. I decided
to run from him. So I left the balcony and returned to my refreshed room. I laid
down my head waiting to mademoiselle sleep to take me in and here the Midnight Judge
comes again. He started the questioning once more, I had no lawyer and to any
of my responses it gave his own sentence that was loud and clear, bang bang bang
and he shouted: excuses, excuses, excuses. As a guilty man I let him have the
best of me, too tired to argue and frankly I was out of excuses.
I guess that by now you know who
is the Midnight Judge, I am sure that he comes to you as well every night
unless you he finds drunk, he always corners you. He is like your conscious
calling you at night, he has the tendency to be very hard on you. He shows you
most of time your failures, your life, your dreams that have lost their winks.
The lamp of your room can no longer illuminate you. There is a darkness of
worries within you. It pains you so much that it could peel your skin and
denude your soul. So you ask yourself, how would I make it? What should I do?
That is the moment in life that you could cry dried tears, your body becomes
small and the mind so cloudy. You look inside the life of your acquaintances
and you see failures in yours. As if he wanted to make an orange juice out of
you, the midnight judge squeezes you like an orange and what is left of you
without any strength falls asleep. Well, in Africa they say “the night bring
advises” So there is nothing wrong with you sleeping. You have been in the
court of the Midnight Judge.
I know that you have recognised
him by now, I cannot say if he is foe or a helper but something is sure
tomorrow he will be there on time like the night. And if he comes, don’t shut
him outside. The question is not if he is a foe or a helper but what will you
do after the judgement. The difference between his court and the one of our
society is that him, he judges you, he condemns you by sending you back into
the society. Some people attempt to kill themselves after his sentence and some
even succeed in taking their own life but for those of us cut out of the tree
of hope we keep faith. I should mention that his sentences depend on your way
of seeing the world. For someone it might shut excuses, for others “ the world
is unfair” etc. Hence, his sentences could become your guide
during the day or your road blocks it is all up to you. For sure he will be
waiting for you once the world gets quiet around you. There will be the
midnight judge.
Simon Juste
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